In his heart, there lacked the correct amount of devotion.
It was a problem, not just for himself, but for those around him. Mostly for those that loved him. Especially for those that loved him romantically.
He argued often and repetatively, never budging in his stance that "There is something to be said for going someplace half way, and then turning around and remaining exactly where you were." or that "Sometimes thinking about a taking a step, is just as satisfying as walking, without all the sweat."
He could only do things fully, it seemed, if they were done halfheartedly or absentmindedly. This is how he was able to argue the justification for his glutenous appetite or enjoyment of orgasms.
In his honor, the story stops here.